There are too many excellent advice columns to keep up with, so we're committed to bringing you links to the best advice column questions and answers every week. Here's a roundup of the most interesting, thought-provoking and surprising questions that our favorite columnists addressed in recent days.

What Should I Do After Exchanging Sexts With A Stranger Who I Later Discovered Was My Extended Family Member?

I spend some time on an online forum and come across interesting folk from time to time. It's almost always just online, and just a comment and a response or two, or just likes/dislikes.

Early this year, someone responded and we went back and forth. We exchanged some semi-personal information, and she mentioned she was quite close geographically. We switched to a more personal messaging service, and I asked for a face pic. She demurred and sent a body shot instead. The picture was hot, and I responded with a similar faceless picture of me. We kept exchanging faceless pictures.

Things were heating up, and I sent a face picture. She stopped communicating. I waited for a couple of days and asked if she was OK and said I was worried. She said she was busy and needed time to think. We soon stopped messaging. I was wondering about her, and a few days later looked at all her pictures. A small tattoo in one picture at the back of her neck now looked very familiar. Looking at her body more closely made me realize who she was, and I knew why she stopped communicating.

We have had no family events recently, but my parents and relatives are bound to host events this spring and summer and I cannot her avoid forever. The cousins and their wives and families are bound to be invited, and it is going to be awkward. Should I reach out to her and talk to her and try to laugh it away or just pretend I do not know it was her when I meet her?

[Boston.com]

Meredith Goldstein advises the letter writer to delete the photos and greet the relative warmly the next time they meet. "Do her a favor and make it simple. Be nice and normal, whatever that means," she writes. "Say nothing unless she brings it up." Read the rest of her answer.

How Can I Get My In-Laws To Stop Monitoring My Church's Livestream And Criticizing Me And My Spouse When We Don't Attend?

Our church started streaming its services online during the pandemic, and this continues today. My in-laws often watch the services together. They live far away, belong to their own church and attend services there regularly.

The problem is, they make snarky comments if they don't see us on the video. "I see SOMEBODY slept in today," or, "Ahh, you missed church… again." They have even set an alarm on their phone to go off when our services start. It's super annoying and downright stalkerish to me.

My spouse thinks they are just doing Old People [Stuff] and it's harmless, but I think they clearly have no boundaries if they scold their adult kid for missing services.

I haven't said anything to the in-laws (yet), but I feel like I will blow up the next time. Help!!

[The Washington Post]

Carolyn Hax encourages the letter writer to figure out a boundary with their spouse and then enforce it. "In general, the way to neutralize intrusive people is to: 1. Have confidence in your own limits. 2. Articulate those limits appropriately. 3. Deny satisfaction to line-crossers," she writes. Read the rest of her answer.

How Can I Get My Manager To Stop Pulling On My Ponytail?

I started a new part-time job at a restaurant a few months ago. I like it, for the most part, and I like the managers. But one of them, Phil, has a rather odd habit. He semi-regularly tugs (hard!) on my ponytail, which I am required to wear by policy and sanitation standards. The context of when he does it comes across as playful/friendly, for example when saying hello upon first seeing me that day or while laughing after I made a joke. I was extremely shocked the first time it happened and thought I'd gotten my hair caught on something before Phil made a comment (it was a "hi, nice to see you" hair tug as while I was passing through the kitchen).

This has happened six times since I started in March, which now that I write that down seems excessive for my short tenure and part-time status. I don't know how to go back and reset this completely bananas boundary without it making things awkward. I suspect he doesn't realize how hard he's pulling and would at least be more gentle if I asked him to be, but I also think he'd be offended if I asked him to stop all together. I've definitely heard him complain about other staff members behind their backs, although usually for justifiable work reasons that I've seen firsthand, so maybe he'd take it in stride and I'm just catastrophizing. The power dynamics and gender roles make it feel so daunting to bring up. Do you have any suggestions?

[Ask A Manager]

Alison Green offers the letter writer a script for telling Phil to stop pulling on their ponytail. "Hopefully you're just catastrophizing, because someone who takes offense to being asked to stop causing someone else physical pain… would be a serious problem as a human, let alone as your boss," she writes. Read the rest of her answer.

How Can I Get My Family Members To Stop Telling Me How Sad They Are That I'm Infertile Because Of A Car Crash That Nearly Killed Me?

I had to have a hysterectomy at 31 due to severe medical complications after a car accident. I am very lucky to even be alive. Rather than being happy for me, too much of my extended family are "in mourning" for my fertility. I was never big on marriage and kids, and my brush with death just solidified my stance. My brothers both have kids so it isn't like the family line is in any danger, but my family acts more like me never becoming a mom is somewhat worse than me dying completely. My grandmother has burst into tears on more than one occasion over the subject, while my disabled aunt will not shut up about surrogacy. I have stated my feelings and asked them to drop it, but they still persist. The last time I got up and left in the middle of lunch because my grandmother started on the waterworks again. My parents are extremely angry with me over this "rudeness" and blame the fact that it is just a matter of old age. I am their primary respite caregiver since my grandmother is in her 90s and my aunt can't live alone. It is taxing enough to take care of them without hearing about a waste of space my life is without children. Can you help?

[Slate]

Jenée Desmond-Harris's readers suggest a few possible scripts for heading off the family members’ unwelcome comments. "Whatever sadness your relatives feel about you not having kids is their own issue to deal with, not yours, and you are under no obligation to take it on," writes FionasHuman. "That they seem more concerned with your missing uterus than the fact that you nearly died is atrocious, and they ought to be made aware of just how repugnant their behavior is." Read the rest of their answers.

Was I Wrong To Chastise A Hiring Manager For Starting His Email To Me With 'Hey'?

I applied for a job through a temp agency in a foreign, non-English-speaking country. I received a reply with the header "Hey Ian," and the person also used English words completely without reason.

So I responded that I do not like to be approached with that kind of language ("Hey"). He got in a hissy fit and called me rude and disrespectful. Later he sent me another email, this time with the header "Hi Ian."

I find it very rude and very unprofessional to be spoken to in that kind of language. I am not his drinking buddy. I worked for 20 years in 4- and 5-star hotels, and I would never even dream of greeting a guest with "Hey."

Any thoughts? Am I just too old?

[UExpress]

Judith Martin, Nicholas Ivor Martin and Jacobina Martin, the writers behind the Miss Manner persona, point out how unwise it is to criticize a potential employer. "Presumably, you are in no danger of getting that particular job," they write. "But [Miss Manners] worries about your plan to work in a foreign country when you are intolerant of differences in language usage." Read the rest of their answer.

Was I Wrong To Turn Down An Award Nomination Because It Implied That I Went 'Above And Beyond'?

I was nominated to receive an industry recognition award, but I declined. This is the first year for the award, which is for "an assistant the lead has worked with who went above and beyond for a project." There is also a list of technical, problem solving and creative skills to be included for consideration. I declined because of the wording "above and beyond." One cannot be nominated because they did a good or even great job, or accomplished all the skills on the list. One had to have done even more than was ever expected. Who could ever live up to that expectation? The people who nominated me are upset I declined. They nominated me to show their appreciation for my work. This award is being given to a number of recipients. I wasn't the only nominee. The group has other project-based awards decided by a jury. Should I change my answer and accept the nomination?

[The New York Times]

Roxane Gay urges the letter writer to change their answer and accept the nomination. "I warmly encourage you to stop overthinking a recognition you've clearly earned," she writes. "I don't really understand why you took yourself out of consideration based on semantics. Read the rest of her answer.

Read our last week's column here.